Introduction: The Men, The Myths, The Legends

Well no other way to start this blog than with a good ole fashioned introduction. 

I would post my real name on this thing, but I'm afraid of two things: 1) someone stalking me and 2) my name and pertinent information being used to set up a blackpeoplemeet.com account. 

Anyways, the name is Vito. No idea where the nickname came from, I’m not even Italian nor do I have connections to the mob. It just stuck.

I wanted to start blogging to pass the time and see if I could become popular. Not the social kind of popular, I’m a wealthy businessman and don’t have time for that. Internet popular is my current aspiration, because if we are being perfectly honest if any of those ass clowns on Tosh.0 can do it I think I am perfectly capable of getting a few overweight 30 year olds to read my obscure blog posts.

There are three other guys who will post regularly on the blog. Sticky Finger Bandit is the North East correspondent. He loves salads, beer, Tinder, cinnamon and a good waterbed, hates hates Miley Cyrus and stairs. The guy is on some bean diet, which basically means he shits like 10 times a day and will have plenty of time to post blogs mid dump. I’ll leave how he earned his name as a mystery.

PJ aka Pope Johnson is the Western correspondent. Half the time we don’t know if he is alive and well or face down in a drained pool somewhere. So whether or not he posts to the site will be a crapshoot. When he isn’t digging for quarters in the couch to pay for his next Taco Bell meal, he enjoys playing the guitar, teaching himself useless information about computers and not showering.

Jeremiah Johnson will be another Western correspondent. He works for a distiller, is a part time farmer, a sweet mountain man with a ferocious beard game. Aside from work, he enjoys cooking hanging with his best friends (aka his sisters dog) and documenting his life through snapchat. I think he’s going to focus on putting everyone on blast from time to time, blaming Obama for things and the occasional informative post. He loves beer, bitches, and banging. Ladies, he’s a big dumb animal.

I don’t know what the other hooligans are going to post about, but I’m basically going to blog on the main categories: food, sex, sports and news (if I have time).  Tacos are big where I live, so I’ll be posting video reviews of local establishments and how their food fares in the thunder dome. Immediately following these reviews I’ll be posting pictures from a series I like to call porcelain portraits.

For those of you who read this, please feel free to comment. If you choose to just blow us off completely, you’re dead to me.

Enjoy.