I used to think this was the worst thing in the world. Maybe it was the traumatic trips to blockbuster as a kid. My dad and I would be casually browsing the VHS tapes and out of nowhere this guy would lift his leg and rip ass. A little back story on this; my dad is a blue collar worker, through and through, and effectively ate fast food for the btter half of a decade. So when he'd lift his leg and let it squeal it wasn't just a quick....and we're done type thing. They were generally full bodied and would linger for several minutes at a time.
Anyways, I already filled you in on my poor existence as a cube monkey, but a perk of my job is that I am essentially a full season ticket holder to the worst team in the MLB. That is purely a statement of fact and not a reflection of my thoughts and opinions.
It's opening week and the Yanks are in town. So I made sure to get tickets to all three games for a couple of reasons, 1) I can, 2) It's Jeter's last series in town, and 3) I hate Yankee's fans. I strategeically chose what section my tickets were in so I could annoy as many fans as possible. This basically meant me yelling about how Jeter wears women's clothing, CC Sabathia is still fat, and shitting my pants until someone noticed. It was dollar dog night tonight, so I of course gorged myself just tomake sure I had a little something extra special brewing in the tank.
A group of fans sat through my toxic fumes through the bottom of the 7th, before I had to get up and do my best Fletcher Reed and yell at them. I was gagging myself and just couldn't take it anymore.
I'm sure I need a clean pair of shorts, but was this acceptable? I figured if I could gas of the opposing team's fans that it would in some way, shape or form help my team to win. Plus it would have been a small victory for me, after all the Yankees have 24 World Series championships and the LAstros have a few more seasons of this before they are relevant again:
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