In my
spare time I manage a baseball team. I'm out on the backfields watching young
prospects throw for strikes, hitters go yard, and slick handed infielders make
great plays. Oh wow Vito, you're a renaissance man, is it a little league team
or high school team or what? No it’s fantasy.
So a bunch
of college buddies and I participate in a Fantasy Baseball league. We were off
to a great start when our mongoloid commish couldn’t figure out how to change
the league from an 8-man league to a 10-man league. #Firstworldproblems.
Anyways,
there’s a new kid in the league this year. Never met him and after what he did
to me in the draft and in this week’s match up, frankly I don’t care if I ever
meet him. This smug bastard named his team the Dirtiest Sanchez and drafted in
the 8 hole, one place ahead of me. I had my entire lineup saved in my queue, ready to
go at a moments notice. I had players most people wouldn’t think to draft that
high and a couple dark horse picks I used higher round picks on (Grady Sizemore
and Jason Castro). Figured I have a strong line up and cruise my way to the
playoffs cause I play with people who don’t know the starting second baseman
for any team other than Robinson Cano. #Amateurs.
So the
draft started and I got the first couple players I wanted and then the 3rd
round started. I was cruising, picking players left and right, but then Sanchez
picked one guy I wanted. I posted in the chat great pick I wanted him. He
replies thanks. Fair enough. Then it happens again. Some more playful banter in
the chat screen and the process continues with him snaking every goddamn player
I wanted for the rest of the draft. It got to the point where I just typed “WOULD
YOU FUCKING STOP” in the chat screen with no response from him. #Shittalk.
Then as
fate would have it I am playing him in this weeks matchup. Low and behold he
bent me over a barrel and showed me the fifty states. He literally put the poop
on my upper lip when he posted this on the message boards:
Just spit in my mouth. Yeah well guess what Andre the God Damn Giant I’d be waxing that ass if someone hadn’t stolen my entire goddamn lineup. STOP STEALING MY LIFE!!!!
I posted the
following in response to his message. #face
PS
Yes my account name is Richard Sack and team name is Hoes N Blow
No comments:
Post a Comment