Swag Daddy Sighting: Downtown

So apparently this guy is a staple in the Houston and Greater Heights areas.


First time I've seen him and I can't get enough. Anywhere I see this SOB, I'm documenting it. Like a Where's Waldo bit, but instead I'm looking for the greased up guido, dressed like a sea captain, swinging big dick and wandering wherever the winds take him to pillage his next crop of sorority broads.

He's either independently wealthy, and very independently wealthy or he just does not and cannot give a fuck as to what people think. You walk out of the house dressed like that, you are committed to looking like a complete fucking dick. I bet when people ask him why he's dressed like that he gives them some crazy analogy: I got my balls enlarged to 12 and a half pounds apiece, I like heavy nuts, I want them to swing like a lunch bag when I am talking to lunatics like you*. In so many words, he does what he wants, when he wants.

*That was a Dov Davidoff joke, check him out. Guy is bananas but he is worth a couple laughs.