Baseball is back!
Opening night was technically on Sunday, yeah yeah quit raining on my parade. The fact of the matter is that baseball is back for the foreseeable future. October through February is the longest 5 month stretch of my life. I don't know how pregnant women wait 9 months for something to happen. Maybe it's because I have ADD or because my team has been wildly mediocre for it's entire 20 year existence.
The start of the season brings a renewed hope. Opening day is a saucy minx who will tempt you with the possibility of your team making a run at 162-0, but after awhile you realize that your only shot at being with this girl is to get blackout drunk and throw up all over her out of spite. But of course you tell your friends it was because you had whiskey dick, didn't bring a condom, your parents called and gam gam died, and the list goes on and on and on. I've seen it a 100 times.
So my experience last night was being able to tune into a tie game for about 10 seconds before Jose Fernandez threw Cuban heat, the Miami Marlins dropped a 40 burger on my team (They lost 10-1, but in baseball terms they might as well have put up 40 runs) and I said to my self that it is the first game and we already look like a cheap whore who can't even deep throat: pitiful and worthless.
Regardless of whether or not you like baseball, you root for a specific team, or you are a die hard fan of a perennial loser Opening Day is a sign that better things are on the horizon: sunny weather, short shorts and bikinis, beer, bitches, and banging. Summer is here!!!
PS
I put $1000 bucks on the LAstros to win it all this year. Mogul Move or should I have just set that grand on fire? Don't care, did it for the love of the game.
Double PS
Instantly regretted putting that much paper on the Stros.
Triple PS
Stros coach looks real prepared for the season
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